Confidence Beyond the Surface: The Inner Work That Changes Everything

This week on Branded & Booked, Kailee + Tina dive into a powerful conversation about confidence — and why it runs so much deeper than appearances or outward success.

We explore how confidence is built from within and how investing in your personal development can transform the way you show up in both life and business.

Inside this episode, we talk about:
 ✨ Why confidence isn’t just a physical experience
 ✨ The connection between self-trust and business growth
 ✨ How inner work shapes outer success
 ✨ Rebuilding confidence after doubt or setbacks
 ✨ Stepping into a more empowered version of yourself

If you’ve ever struggled with imposter syndrome, comparison, or second-guessing yourself, this episode is your reminder that confidence is something you cultivate and embrace within yourself. 

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Episode Music: QubeSounds

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Transcript

Tina Floersch 0:59

Yeah the way you look is the is the least interesting thing about you. Your body is the least interesting thing about you. Who you are and what you do in your life is the most important out of all of that. I can't wait to have holding microphones. Right? That's what I'm gonna start doing. People will love that. Are you ready? Hi friends. Welcome back to Branded and Booked. Tina and I are just excited to be here. The huge. Ah the huge. Well, we have already started off this new year with some amazing podcast episodes. A little reintroduction of us, and then our first guest episode with Corey. Please go back and listen to that. We're just nerding out about design, and we're really excited to have more designers and creatives on the podcast because man, have I missed just nerding out about the design things in life? Yeah, it just hits a little bit different. It does. Like we love all of our entrepreneurs and all of our guests that we've had, but like to sit and nerd out with other graphic designers, like we kind of did like with Megan. Like those episodes, they just sit in a different place in my heart. It reminds me of art school. I know, it really does. I miss it. Yeah. Uh well. Yeah, I do when I miss just hanging out. I miss the yeah, I miss the community. Let me digress. I don't miss anything about school. Okay, I was like I miss hanging out. That's a that's a you. That's a you thing. It's a you thing. Oh, wow. Today we are talking about something very special, I believe. We're talking about confidence. We get asked a lot about like, where'd you get your confidence? How did you get confident? And it's we were like, you know what? I think it's time. I think it's time to have a give it its own episode. Because we do talk about pieces of it here and there throughout the years, but we were like, I think this needs its whole, its own episode. Yeah, I have a million thoughts on this, and I'm gonna try not to do tangents, but I've been thinking about it deep in thought. Like what I'm driving over here, I'm thinking about it. So I've really been looking forward to just talking about this episode in a really mindful way. But of course, before we get started, we're gonna do a little card reading. Uh remember, go check these out on the branded and booked Instagram. These cards are stunning. So we love to share with you guys because visually they just tell a story in their own. Yeah. Would you like to go first? I think so because I'm pulling from a deck that is a little bit, it's it's it's acknowledging your inner wounds. So I feel like we start with a little bit of a not a heavy card, but a little bit more serious kind of shadow work E, and then end with a beautiful beautiful card. Okay. So this deck is the Cries of the Souls Oracle by Isabel Kerf. And on the I just want to want to read the back, just a little preface on like how this card reads, because it does read a little bit different than other decks that I have. And I picked this one up actually at a moon marcado in Orlando doing after doing yoga. So it's yeah, acknowledging your inner wounds and turn them into a positive energy. This deck will help you receive messages from your traumatized self and become aware of your most profound needs and desires. Allow yourself to love all the complex layers of who you are and reveal your inherent magic. Oh, that's a good one for today. So the card I pulled is lack of self-love. And the affirmation underneath it is I love myself for who I am today. And it's a little heart with a crying eye, kind of sacred heart vibes with some beautiful like florals coming out of it. And there is four parts to this reading. So here we go. The first part is the wisdom. I am the energy of loathing and anti and antipathy. Antipathy. Antiopathy. Okay. And antipathy. Antipathy? I think so. Is that what it is? Cool. Yep. Yeah, we'll go with that. Self-love means accepting and showing respect for yourself. Wow, this is very I didn't realize I spot on this is for today's reading. Self-love means accepting and showing your showing respect for yourself. So when I arise, it means you have no consideration for yourself and that your needs and boundaries are unimportant. I cause you a lot of pain, self-reproach, and self-criticism, and create an inner void, enveloping you in a pessimistic energy. Don't underestimate what you feel when I am with you, because when I arise, hope, sharing, and desires are lost. Supplement. I hurt you, but also bring you reassurance. When you don't love yourself, you no longer have to choose experiment, fail, start over, or move forward. Everything is at a standstill. You also complain about me, which motivates other people to do everything in their power to help you feel better. Complaining about my presence attracts their attention, which makes you feel good. When you encroach on other people's boundaries or cannot question anything about yourself, I serve as an excuse. So you escape taking responsibility for your choices. The warning. Self-love is impermanent. There is no button you can push every morning to make you respect your identity and values. Self-love is connected with self-acceptance, which means integrating who you are now. You may try to escape me by buying the love of other people, satisfying their every need without setting any boundaries for yourself, but I'll still be here. Become aware of the relationship you've built with me, as accepting me is the first step to weakening my strength and power and loving yourself. Last part is moving forward, like how to move forward. You need to accept yourself and to do what you need to do to look at yourself without judgment. Look back at your actions, reactions, and thoughts. Then ask yourself whether they are aligned with your deep desires. If not, ask yourself why. Think about the changes you can make to create true alignment between your inner and outer world. Accepting your physical body is also key to loving yourself. No physical body is ever perfect, but it is always beautiful. Look at yourself in a kind and gentle way and commit to taking the path towards yourself. Wow. And you just randomly chose that one. Well, I will admit there was another card that came out, but it felt like it was it just didn't feel right. It felt like it Yeah, it's you know, I think we'll dive into this a little bit as we move forward after the card read of just self-love in general, because of course self-love intertwines with confidence so deeply. So wow, what a good card. I think we should take a picture of that and put like the actual reading in our post too. Yeah, I agree. So then you guys can go on and screenshot, do a little bit of meditating on it and yeah, yeah, do some journaling. Yeah. So this this deck is really good for like for journaling. Like if you need something to journal about, like it'll ignite something within you or a wound that becomes enlightened, and you're like, I think I need to do some soul soul work. I've always kind of shadow work has always not scared me, but I'm always like, no, love and light. I don't need to be in the shadows. But you really have to peel away at those layers in order to expand. Well, I'm really excited how this card balances in with yours because I feel like yours is so individual, where mine is about community diversity and contribution. So I am again borrowing from Tina's decks. One of these days, I'll bring one of my own. Um, I am pulling from the Cosmos, Tarot, and Oracle decks, and it is by who is it? Light gray art ab. Wow, light gray art labs.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

I'm really struggling today.

Tina Floersch 9:20

And so I pulled the card 14, which is the galaxy. So bound by the tremendous power of gravity, each galaxy contains a diverse collection of elements, tremendous amounts of gas, dust, dark matter, and hundreds of billions of stars of all ages. The size, shape, and landmarks within each galaxy are much like the difference between our towns and cities. The card imagery is inspired by a sign in space, which this card is very, there's a lot of detail in here, but it's really beautiful. There's about four figures, and each one's working on something different, and it looks like they're different elements. So, this is a card you're definitely gonna want to like look at and sit with because there's a lot of details in here. A story by Clavino Italio from his collection of short stories. Cosmics, wow, words today. The story follows the personal struggle of a Proitian cosmic consciousness as he attempts to define his own creations. He is distraught when he finds that others have begun plagiarizing his prize creation, the elements in the galaxy. In his search. Sorry, my little eyes. When he's a second, I think I do. I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't read this. I'm gonna put the card here. This is a tiny little book. I know the the text is really small. Okay, let me close the door. Uh he is distraught when he finds that others have begun plagiarizing his prized creation. The sign. Interesting. The way this reads, too, is different. Yeah, it's in his frustration, he loses his sign amongst all of the other elements in the galaxy. In his search for his sign, he learns that it had been a major inspiration to others, and he had inadvertently started a movement of creation. Just as the galaxy contains a wide variety of elements, our communities are a melting pot of concepts and ideas, contributed by various sources. In a reading, this card represents the contributions made to a community. Each specific community is flavored by the contributions and an altruistic giving back of our ideas and energy. These contributions may inspire others to build upon the founding concepts while enriching the community for everyone involved. So I did pull this card reversed, which is interesting. And the reversed says that it may indicate a fear of exchanging or contributing ideas to a bigger community. This may be because a person does not want to lose ownership over a special concept or because of selfish motives. Fascinating. Yes. And so the fact that it was pulled reverse, I think, is interesting just with the topic of confidence because I think confidence ties into our ego. And as soon as I saw that it was reversed, I was like, that's where the ego comes in when it comes to confidence. So beautiful card pulled today. Please go look at them. These are very intricate cards today, and I think they're worth taking a look at and also reading again the meaning behind them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

Yeah. I'll post the I'll post the pictures of the booklet too for this episode.

Tina Floersch 13:03

So wow, I'm like still digesting both of those together. Like that was those paired perfectly. Like that's why I was I I tried not to pull a second card, but something in me was like, this isn't it. Like try again. I think that was kind of a fluke. And I just listened, and those those two together, like talking about the the inner self-love, and then the the community and that, but especially that you pulled it reversed.

SPEAKER_04 13:33

Mm-hmm.

Tina Floersch 13:35

Mm-hmm. So if you're listening to this, big reflection on this one all around. And of course, it intertwines to the inner workings of you, your life individually, your close community, whether that be friends or family or all of them combined, and then your community as a whole, and then the earth as a whole. So there's a lot of expansion in just those two cards. The layers, the layers of the world. Good little transition into our topic of confidence. We just get asked all the time, like Kaylee, Tina, where do you get your confidence? How you know it there are just so many moments where it's been called out that even I haven't even realized where I've gotten sometimes where I'm like, oh yeah, no, 10 years ago, I would never.

SPEAKER_04 14:42

Right.

Tina Floersch 14:43

Or I always find it like people notice. Yeah, that's I think that's kind of what it is. Is like the more people have noticed and have said things to me, the more I've become aware of my own growth and my confidence journey. Yeah. Powerful. So I just turned 30. Tina is also in her 30s. 35. 35 baby in our 30s. So what a beautiful time to crazy time to be a woman and transitioning. And um, I think confidence. I want to start by saying I think confidence is very fluid. It's a very fluid term to me because it is very dependent on situation, um, like almost, I want to say like topic on internal, external. So the idea of confidence is such an ebbing and flowing type of thing. And so if you're sitting here thinking, like, oh, I need this episode because I I want to know the exact steps to confidence, it's gonna be very unique and dependent on a lot of different things. And I think some days I feel very tip top confident, and then there's other days where I'm not feeling too hot. So I really wanted to start with saying that it's just there's a lot of factors that come into confidence, but there's also a lot of things that you can work on to feel confident in your day-to-day. It's 100% a muscle. It is something that you just have to practice to get better at it. And a lot of it is faking it because for me, the more I like fake it till I make it with confidence, like if I eventually I start to believe it. Like eventually I start to to take on that confidence that I'm like, if I'm going out, like for example, if I'm going out in the world wearing an outfit, then I'm like, I don't feel 100% confident in it, or you know, like being a bigger woman and being plus size and and having a different style, and I I wear clothes that show my figure, and I get a lot of weird looks when I'm wearing certain outfits in the world, and a lot of it is just like fuck them. Like it just is kind of faking my my own confidence, and then eventually I just start to become more confident in those moments. Yeah, I think what really stands out when you're talking about that too is it's pushing your own boundaries and really again, like the cliche, step out of your comfort zone. Yeah. Because once you do step out of it, at first it's kind of like, but then all of a sudden the nerves start to settle, you start to feel a little better. That little voice of whatever it is is telling you that you can't have or not good enough or don't look good enough or anything like that settles. Yeah. Yeah. The anxiety piece of it is real up until you realize that, like, oh, I did this thing and the world didn't end. Cool. I can keep let's let's let's push it, let's keep going, you know? I can't remember where I heard this. I'm sure it's been repeated either through movies, TVs, podcasts, all that stuff. But they always say that people are never thinking about you as much as you think they're thinking about you. Yes. People, my mom always told us that. She's like, or like her other thing was um, what people think of me is none of my business. Yeah, that's a good one too. I like that a lot. No, it's mama flowism for you right there. Yeah, confidence, you know. I think back to I think back to when I didn't have any confidence. And I would say, you know, I grew up, I was bullied quite a bit when I was younger. Same because I was a sweet little chunky lady. Same. And it took me a while to grow into my body. And I would say I hung out with a lot of really pretty girls when I was younger. And so I was always considered the friend that like none of the boys liked me, but they liked all my friends, but they wanted to be friends with me, so then they could date my friends. And so that did something very, very weird for my confidence. And I I hate saying this because it's like one of the worst things. But this kid mooed at me when I was in elementary school, and it has stuck with me to this day. I even told Zach, and he's like, that's so sad. And I'm like, I know it's fucked up, and I remember going home and crying about it, and I told my dad, and my dad's response to me was, Well, maybe you shouldn't eat so much. And I think at this time, I know we were still living at our house, so I was young, young. Like I had to have been only like eight at this time. And so that was in itself a very like clearly the fact that I was eight and that stuck with me for so long. Yeah. My dad was definitely fat phobic. So um, that's something in and of itself. But that was crazy. My mom, gentle little soul, was always great with me. She would always tell me, like, it doesn't matter what these other people think, you are beautiful. She would always, no matter what, she'd be like, You're so beautiful. You know, it's from the inside out, it's not always outside in. And she would always tell me, like, you're gonna, she'd say, you're gonna grow into your body. Like, life is just awkward for a while. And I was like, okay, whatever, mom. And then it just became more and more prominent, I think, especially as women at least. I'm not exactly sure what the experience of guys is, but it was like as you aged into middle school, high school, and your body started changing, the way people treated you was different. And so I was always heightenly aware of the physical side of confidence because it was like, oh, if you looked a certain way, then that meant that you would have more confidence. However, I started to pick up very early on that some of the people I would look at that I was like, this is a beautiful, physically beautiful human being. They were always the ones that had the most self-conscious tendencies. And so I started to pick up on that very young, I think, because I was just so self-aware of like my own looks. But I started to realize, like, oh I if you're feeling the same way I'm feeling, but I think you're you look a certain way. So it kind of started with that where I would just was always hyper aware of things. And then at one point I was just like, this is what? This is crazy. The people that are quote unquote so pretty are the ones with the lowest self-confidence. Yep. I experienced that many times and a lot of my close friendships growing up, it was, you know, it was just what we all talked about, like our looks and how we felt, and you know, the when these when people that I would hang out with, they would be like, Oh, I feel so I just feel so fat. I'm like, girl, you are like a hundred pounds. What do you mean? Like it's so wild because to them they could totally feel that way too. Yeah, of course. Yeah, so it's so that's where like the confidence is fluid type of thing because it's so individual to every single person. Now I'm gonna stick on looks and then I'm gonna pivot a little bit into like the internal confidence because I think that's where you and I really shine is like, yes, we love our looks, we've worked on that, but also the internal confidence is like where magic happens, especially for business. Yeah. So it just kind of does. I feel like for me personally, before you begin. Sorry. It really was like because looks was just like such a prominent piece of like growing up and being a teenage girl. I think that that's really like the most obvious starting point for a lot of women. Yeah. Because that's the one thing we have to tackle first is being in society that pressures and and and praises a certain look and being opposite of that. It really kind of is like, whoa, that's like the first that was like the first step into that in more internal work. Yeah. I'm glad you brought that up because that is very true. It was so hyper-focused on the physical side. And I think as we age, we kind of have to flip it on its head and work on like more of the internal things. I would say I was thinking hard of like, where did my confidence start? And I think high school was very pivotal for me for a couple of reasons. Our high school was definitely, we were in that age of like, if you were good at something, you were highly recognized for it. And I think that's where my confidence really started to go, oh wait, I'm like good at things. I'm like smart. I can enroll in honors classes. I can, you know, run track. I can play volleyball. I can, you know, these type of things where you're like, oh, I'm pretty good at that. So I think that's where my confidence, the little seeds started to plant themselves of like, yeah, you're pretty good at things, and you can do a good job if you put your mind to it. And then we would do like a lot of award ceremonies. So I think I got like junior of the year one time, and I was like, I'm so I'm so awesome. So I will say, like, our high school did do a good job of it in that standpoint, at least through my eyes. Like the more I was recognized and like I hate to say it, but awarded, and my ego was expanded. That's where like confidence kind of really started to click for me. And then I was like, okay, people like me. I'm doing an okay job. I like who I am as a person. I feel kind of like good about who I am as a person. I wouldn't say my confidence was tip top shape in high school, but I think that's where it started. I wish mine wasn't until probably in my mid-20s, until after I graduated college. Like my upbringing was really just fucking. It was hard. Like I I've told in previous stories, like I was homeschooled and integrating into public school was really hard. I was a nerd. I was uh I was a guy like I, you know, I was book smart, but then you know, like the cool kids weren't book smart, and I was like, oh okay. And then I wasn't doing sports, so I wasn't like cool enough to hang with the sports kids, and I didn't do I didn't do theater, choir, so I was kind of like a I was kind of an outsider for a long time. I had a hard time making friends. I really I really like looked for validation through my romantic relationships and from guys, and it was really terrible. It was like not good for my development and my confidence because it was just brewing from places that I knew weren't it it wasn't sustainable. Yeah, really wasn't. It took, it really took me until and I'm I'm just I am such a people pleaser and I have very I'm a very high functioning uh anxious neurodivergent person, and I didn't truly tap into that until I was kind of forced to. I just kind of kept hitting rock rock bottom and I was like, I just can't keep doing this. And I kept making friends with the wrong people and not the wrong people, but it just wasn't it wasn't aligned. They weren't aligned, they weren't good for me. I I really was just trying to people please, and I think my confidence started to come into play when I started doing things for me. I stopped doing things for other people. I I started I started um doing photography concert photography in Minneapolis. I a lot of it really happened after I graduated college, honestly. I was I just struggled. School wasn't I had a really hard time in school. I was still kind of figuring out my niche. I wasn't that good at art school, and like surprisingly, like I yeah, I look back as one of my art stuff. Oh anyway, it's a whole other tangent. Um, so yeah, a lot of it really was like doing things for me. I started getting tattoos. Like I'm if if you've seen you've if you see me, I'm like covered in tattoos, and that has been always a big piece of like my confidence and loving who I am and how I look and decorating my body and um and being around people who hype me up. That's a big one. That was the shift, was was really surrounding myself with people who wanted to see me do well, yeah. Outside of my family, you know, like friends and those types of relationships. So I think um kind of learning to stand up for yourself in the sense of, you know, this is good for me versus this isn't good for me is a huge piece of confidence because I do agree. I think it's the people you surround yourself really can uplift you or they can really destroy you. Yeah. And I've also had my fair share of having good people in my life and then having not so good people in my life. Rather, that's relations like intimate relationship, or if that's friendships. I've had a lot of friendships where I thought they were really beneficial and then they weren't, and I would give my all and then get walked all over. And so I did learn that you had to be a little bit more conscious about again, going back to the community card of who are the people in your circle. If they, if you have people in your life that you're like, hey, I'm not having a good day, and they're like, Yeah, you suck, like it's gonna deplete you, you know, because words, words are really impactful. Yeah. And I started going to therapy. That was a big piece of it too. I've been seeing my therapist now ever since I moved to Colorado, almost nine years ago. I moved to Colorado, and so that was a big piece of it of like having someone as an outer, an outside source who didn't know me, you know, like having an input, and um that just really translated and doing a lot of spiritual work. I did a lot of spiritual work and just really doing that internal work was really where that shift started to happen for me was getting clear on who I am, what I want, what I want to do, and doing it for me and no one else. I think one of the hardest things when it comes to confidence is kind of quieting down everything else around you, the world, the things you're consuming, the people in your life. Because no matter what, like you can get all the opinions you want, but it's you really have to listen to what you want, what your soul wants, what is burning inside of you. And I think that's where, like, for us, since we did take that time to listen to those things, that's where it spills out into business because we really align. That's where it goes back to we created brands that are who we are, because then we can just show up as we are. Yeah. And we don't have to show up as somebody else or show up and pretend, you know, like you can fake it till you make it, but if you're faking it in the wrong direction and you're faking it in a force way, yeah, it's not gonna work. But if you're doing it in a stepping out of your comfort zone aligned, fake it till you make it, it's gonna spill out into positivity. If your business is disconnected from who you are, then I just truly believe that it won't it won't last. Like maybe it will, but it's not sustainable and truly aligning and having your business showing up as you.

SPEAKER_03 31:49

Is that what I meant to say?

Tina Floersch 31:50

Anyway, you know what I mean. Like it just is, I think, yeah, if you're trying to fake who you who you're not in your business, you're it's gonna shine through. We've I've worked with people who are trying to do something that truly that truly, you can everyone knows that it's just like not in alignment with who they are and it's not clicking, and and that really is not sustainable. And I think, yeah, faking it in a stepping out of your comfort zone is always a good idea. Like, but if it's gonna be detrimental to your goals and your business as a whole, then maybe it's time to reevaluate what you're doing. Yeah, yeah. I, you know, I think being an older sister too, which I don't know how you feel about this, but I feel like I wanted to be someone that my sister could look up to and be like, okay, like my sis, my sister's doing a decent job. And like over the years, it's I've tried to also just be not just my sister, but be an example for other women. There's nothing that's more that makes me feel good when like I can present myself with confidence and be who I am and love who I am, and it somehow impacts another woman in my life. Yes. Um, because I've even had my mom tell me, like, oh, you've helped me with my confidence and how I look. And I was like, that's phenomenal. Like, that is so cool and what a beautiful thing. I think I've I will say I am so fortunate in my life path, and I think my life path has given me some amazing opportunities and skills and experiences just for confidence specifically. And I have had the right people in my life come in, especially when I graduated high school, of older women mentors that are confident and give me some amazing advice, like listen to your peers, listen to women who are older than you that have a lot of life experience, you know, and where does their confidence come from? What have they done? And kind of leaning into that. I've also done some very extreme things like model naked. I did that for an art class, and I had all these strangers around me drawing me. And I'll never forget, like in the moment, I was like, this is so uncomfortable. But then once I got done, being an art person, as we know, is such a different world. Like the amount of nudity I have seen in my life, just from like we show up to class and there's nude people in front of us. It's just, I think we see the human body so differently. And um, but yeah, I nude modeled in college and it was way out of my comfort zone, but the money was great. And it really opened my eyes because every single person had drawn me differently. And that also made me go, oh my gosh, we all perceive things differently. I might be so attractive to Zach. Like Zach looks at me and is like, you're the beautiful, most beautiful human I've ever seen. But somebody else might look at me and be like, she's a four. I know I'm not a four, but you know what I mean. So also like, you don't need to be everything to everybody and learning kind of what that is. Like, who is it important to? Like, especially in business, who do you want to attract into your business versus who do you not want to? And so, yeah, I've done extreme things. I've done a lot of um that inner work is huge. You have to do it, you have to face it. Rather, it's working with your shadow work or journaling or just doing things that are the opposite if you're feeling negative about yourself. I've done a lot of mirror work, like a lot of mirror work where I get out of the shower, I stand in front of the mirror nude, and I like compliment myself. You're looking so beautiful. I think that's so important too as we age, like as our bodies continue to change. Like I'm 30 and I'm like, oh, I guess that's a little different. That's not looking how I thought it looked like a couple months ago. But just honoring yourself and being like, oh my gosh, every single day my body wakes up with me. And when I got really, really sick, I just was so grateful that like I even got healthy again. That I think that also helped my confidence because I just was like, I can't believe my body went from I could not walk physically to I've recovered, I can walk, I'm fully able. Like that was scary in itself, but it also put in perspective like how admirable your body is for you and the things you can do with it. Yeah. And your life is not about how you look. I think that's a big piece of it too, is I um I lost my aunt years ago in a tragic car accident. She was like my bigger sister. And unfortunately, what stuck with me was her always talking about her looks. Like that is something I remember about her. And I I hate that. Like I hate that that is a big piece of how I remember her being. And I don't I don't want to live my life like that. Like I'm as someone who has fluctuated in weight my entire life, like a lot of it is just learning to love myself in all of these stages and phases. And a big piece of it was curating who I follow on social media. I follow a lot of other very confident plus size women who preach the same thing. Your life, the you the way you look is the is the least interesting thing about you. Your body is the least interesting thing about you. Who you are and what you do in your life is the most important out of all of that. I think it's the impression we make, especially, you know, that's in business and in real life. Yeah. The impression you leave on people and what are the attributes that you want to be remembered by? Like you saying that that's a big thing. Yeah. And I always think about too, like maybe that was a lesson that she left with you, though, of you know, yeah, we hate that that's a memory of her, but that's in positively impacted your life too. I'm not gonna cry. I am not gonna cry. No, I'm crying. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think us as women, we all impact each other so much, too. And it's like that's why words are so powerful, and like be mindful of how you talk to yourself and how you talk to others. That's huge. Like when going back to the mirror work, like, even just you know, my the my words are so powerful, and my brain doesn't know the difference between me saying it jokingly or not, and yeah, that is a huge piece of it, and how you talk about yourself. It's it's so easy to talk negative about yourself, it's really hard to amp yourself up. Yeah, I will say, like, for us to be where we are confidence-wise, like it hasn't been an easy road. No, no, and I I think too, it's the constant like being patient with yourself. Yeah, patience is a really big thing, and confidence is like you know, if you're not feeling great for a couple days, have the patience to know that you're gonna feel great and like practice, yeah, keep trying, repetition, consistency, confidence, those buzzwords, yeah. Really those buzzwords. I think too, like just having this podcast where people I always hear people say it's the craziest thing, and us being photographers, I think us being photographers also has helped our confidence because we were just talking about this. Like you, as a photographer, seeing the people that are in front of your camera very differently, and you're highlighting the most wonderful attributes of them, but you're also having this really intimate interaction with someone, and the energy behind that really matters, and it's it's so interesting. Whenever, like Tina just did a brand photo shoot for me, right? And I love these photos. Would it be easy for me to sit there and hyperphyxiate on, oh, I don't like the way my neck looks in this photo, or I don't like this, or I don't like that. Sure, but guess what? They are stunning photos. I look at those photos and I just feel proud. Like, I'm like, look at her. Look at Kaylee living in Florida. She's just turned 30, she's wearing a sparkly dress, running her own business. It's like being proud of yourself is so important, so essential. And repetition, showing up on our podcast, this took time. If you went back and listened to our first couple episodes, they're not as easy flowing. If you go back and look at how we would talk to the camera on social media day and night compared to how we talk now. I used to when I when Facebook first came out with like doing lives and stories, I would hold my camera and I would shake and I would sweat and I would stutter because I would just get so nervous. Yeah. And now it's a little bit more free-flowing. So it's that repetition, it's consistency. Just repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. Yeah. And then eventually it sticks.

unknown 42:06

Yeah.

Tina Floersch 42:07

And it just is, it just is all it just is like all of these different pieces working together. It's who you surround yourself with, it's how you talk to yourself, it's doing things that push you out of your comfort zone to show you that okay, I can do this thing and the world didn't end. Yeah. It's it's it's looking at life lessons that are sometimes really fucking hard to go through and trying to dig a little bit deeper. Like one of my pivotal points in my career, and I talk about it often, is when I got fired from my job out at the marketing agency. I was promised a creative director position. I was that they taught me how to do web design. I got promoted to creative director, they demoted me without telling me. And then I got fired for putting so many processes and templates into place that they literally didn't need me anymore. And that was such a pivotal piece in my of like, it was devastating. Like that was so fucked up to happen, but it was also a big piece of like, no, fuck you. If I can literally get out myself of a job making almost six figures, the most money I've ever made in my life. I can do this for myself. Like clearly, I have the skills in me to literally out myself of a position. Yeah. That's crazy. That's crazy behavior. Like, and taking that and flipping it and being like a little bit of a kind of revenge thing of like, no, fuck you. I'm gonna, you're gonna fire me, I'm gonna kick ass in my own business. And I just hit my my revenue goal of last year, like three years, four four years later. So I think it is also kind of like restructuring and and taking these really shitty things and trying to pick out the piece of like, no, but I did that. Like, and if there's pieces that you need to learn from it, taking that too, and being like, all right, I could I could do that a little bit better too. Honoring and celebrating yourself is really important. You have like if somebody else isn't celebrating you or honoring something that you've accomplished, then you have to be your biggest cheerleader. 100%. Every like night and day, I always think like at the end of the day, it's me, myself, and I. And sometimes you have to think that way. And I think celebrating even the small wins of like I was at the gym this morning and I did not want to be there. I was so tired. And I was like lifting, and I'm like watching the weights go up in the air, and all I could think of is I am so freaking proud of myself. Yeah. I can't believe that I have been consistently going to this gym for two years. I'm strong. I'm healthy. I can lift 30-pound weights up in the air. Like I just admired myself in that moment. Like I didn't want to be there. I could have thought about it negatively that entire time, but I was like, holy cow, I did it. I'm here. Yeah. I'm doing it. I show up multiple times a week and I go to the gym and I make sure my body feels good. And that's something to be proud of too. And having people in your community that celebrate you. Yes. That like again, going back, I think full circle, it's just having that community of people who can hold that mirror up to you and being like, no, bitch, take a minute and admire where you're at and what you're doing and and celebrate you and having other people that celebrate you. And I think the way we choose to talk to and like choosing to change the narrative, I think you and I have worked really hard to when you're in a certain room and you're with people and the type of topics you're talking about. If you go and you sit in a room and everybody's sitting there complaining, you're going to start complaining. Right. But if you get into a room and you start talking about accomplishments or things you're personally working on and developing, everybody else is going to talk about that. And this is something you and I are really working on is getting in the right rooms. Making sure you're putting yourself, if you want to be a confidence, I was going to say a confident ass bitch. But if you want to show up and you want to be confident and you want to feel good in yourself and you want to do bigger things, or you even want to do the small things. Like whatever confidence means to you, you gotta put yourself in the rooms where people are already doing it. And then become a part, like it's so weird how we naturally become who we surround ourselves with. Yes. Yes. And we have to keep that in mind. Like it is who you surround yourself with, it is the rooms you're putting yourself in. And me as a reflector in human design, I am the biggest that was the biggest lesson I learned about myself is like I'm a normal person, and then me, it's like magnified times 10. Yeah. And it's made me very aware of like just how important it is to curate. Yeah, I think you know, confidence for me too has been like speaking up. Yeah. If I have a friend or I meet someone and they're talking negatively about themselves about something, I sometimes I just stop them in their tracks, calm out. Well, why do you feel that way? You know, because sometimes you need to be pushed a little bit and figure out why. I do want to go back to that therapy because I also went to therapy for nine years. And while I worked a lot on like family dynamics and relationship dynamics and therapy, one thing he always taught me was like, ask yourself why, and then ask yourself why again. I think this is like, I don't remember what this technique is, but it's like it's probably just the why technique. But you ask yourself why. I don't feel confident in this. Okay, well, why? Well, because of this. Okay, well, why? And eventually that why starts to come down to something very, very distinctive. Well, I feel this way because in again, going back to in third grade, I went home and I was crying. I told my dad that somebody made fun of me, and then he told me I shouldn't eat so much, and then that's affected my eating my entire life. Like it is so insane what that underlying. Yeah, the trickle down, the root of the root cause of all these things. The why is powerful, very powerful. And then when you figure out the root cause, you go, Oh. That's it. Yeah. All right. And then you can work on it and you can let it go. And it all adds up. The more you do little things, little tiny steps, you wake up one day and you go, Well, I'm looking good today. Compliment yourself. First thing you do when you wake up, when you're brushing your teeth, compliment yourself. I'm proud of you for getting up early today. I'm proud of myself for taking extra rest today. Like whatever it may be, instead of being hard on yourself or judging yourself or putting yourself down, flip it. Yeah. What's the opposite feeling of that? Yeah. And do something that'll make you uncomfortable. If you don't like taking a selfies, take a selfies. Take a picture of yourself. No one else to see it. Just take a picture of yourself. Or if you don't like showing up online, post a 10-second, hey, here I am, you know. Do a little bit at a time and it'll add up. Exposure therapy. Exposure therapy, 100%. Yeah. Exposure therapy is when there's something you don't want to do or be like within that situation, or it brings up a certain thing, and then you expose yourself, expose yourself, expose yourself. That's like the other day I went, um, I was out running errands and I went to the mall, and I would never go to the mall by myself. And then I was like, because everybody's at the mall usually with somebody else. And so then I was like, I feel uncomfortable. And I was like, oh, who cares? Get a coffee and walk around the mall by yourself. Who cares? Yeah. So, and that's another thing. Like, I questioned even going to the mall by myself. Like, it happens every single day. I run into things where it's like, I'm not feeling good in my outfit today. Like, we all have bouts of questioning. Yeah. It happens. Wow, that was a lot. That was a lot. That was deep. Do some journaling, y'all. Real. I mean, even me, I'm like, I think I have some shit to journal about. Yeah. Yeah. But it takes work. Yeah. It really does. It takes daily work. And I think uh you and I have been building on our confidence for years and years and years. And I think it's really special you and I met each other because I feel we amplify our confidence within each other. And I also like sometimes putting a word to it, and I'll be like, Tina, I'm just like not feeling confident lately. And I've admitted this to some of my friends before. There, there's usually times where I'm like, nobody can pop my ego bubble. I am feeling on top of the world. But then there's other times where I'm like, man, my confidence is low. Like, I my self-esteem is low. I'm not loving my body. I'm not loving my mental state of mind. And just putting like talking to someone about it. Yeah. Work through that. It's important. Yeah. Read some good books. Listen to some good podcasts. Things that you feel aligned with. Yeah. Yeah. Do something that makes you happy. Buy yourself a little sweet treat. Sweet treat always fixes things. As I drink my coffee, I'm like, oh, that was big. Also, if you ever want to talk about confidence, reach out to us. Yeah, we're always here. Yeah. We appreciate you being here. And if you found this episode helpful, please share with a friend. Post to your social media and let us know what you thought about it. Was it helpful? Is there something deeper that you wanted to hear more about? Let us know. Yeah. Questions? Tag us in the comments. Tag other people in the comments. We love it. Uh well, you can find me, Kaylee, everywhere at eclecticdesigns.co. And you can find me, Tina, everywhere at visualflow.co. We love you guys so much. What a twenty twenty-six baby. We are building the right community over here at Brandon and Bugs. And with that, we'll chat with you next time. Bye.